Naysayers – Don’t be kept down

Naysayers – Don’t be kept down (5/16/2012) Imagine your excitement regarding a new goal, like going back to school or starting a business, and everyone you share your idea with finds problems with it. Parents are guilty of using their personal failures as experience to discourage children and friends allow their own insecurities to trump support. This is my third column regarding opportunities, decision-making and pursuing our dreams. Along the way we must acknowledge the negative influencers who stop us. Many years ago I discovered the type of personality type I would call the "naysayer;" the friend or family member who constantly spews negativity. I am a believer that the ability to recognize and consider opportunities, make effective and timely decisions, and avoid naysayers will propel us forward to new successes. The classic naysayer can be described as “Eeyore” from the “Winnie the Pooh” series of books. At first glance a likable character and friend, but upon examination he is dreadful. For example Eeyore once conversed with Pooh, “Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he said. Eeyore always saw the glass half full, sadly never relishing the hope which comes from optimism. As an optimist, it is hard to acknowledge negative people, but once I found the naysayer and understood their life’s mission is pessimism, cynicism, skepticism, and denial regarding any opportunities it was obvious avoiding these people was critical to my own success. The naysayer would not admire my success and therefore was an enemy to my future. We must challenge ourselves to ask “who do I know that is a naysayer?” Sadly, they may be our spouse, a family member, or close friend. The worst scenario is a trusted confidant as a naysayer. Over time we may not realize this is the case, but unfortunately the naysayer is the most significant obstacle to seizing new opportunities. To recognize those holding you back you must take a close look at your friends and family who constantly find problems with your dreams, goals, and desires. Cheerleaders of your interests will always look for positive outcomes to your opportunities. A supportive friend will debate the merits of your considerations and offer pragmatic opinions. A naysayer, on the other hand, will immediately question the wisdom of your ideas and find nothing but negative consequences. We must beware the naysayer because they will fill us with negative energy and prevent the empowerment we find when taking control of our own lives. Sadly, the naysayer is more devastating when it is someone we love or hold in close esteem because we inherently trust their opinions, sometimes more than our own. My advice is just say no to the naysayer and break away to find freedom in your own successful pursuit of opportunities.