Naysayers – Don’t be kept down

Naysayers – Don’t be kept down (5/16/2012) Imagine your excitement regarding a new goal, like going back to school or starting a business, and everyone you share your idea with finds problems with it. Parents are guilty of using their personal failures as experience to discourage children and friends allow their own insecurities to trump support. This is my third column regarding opportunities, decision-making and pursuing our dreams. Along the way we must acknowledge the negative influencers who stop us. Many years ago I discovered the type of personality type I would call the "naysayer;" the friend or family member who constantly spews negativity. I am a believer that the ability to recognize and consider opportunities, make effective and timely decisions, and avoid naysayers will propel us forward to new successes. The classic naysayer can be described as “Eeyore” from the “Winnie the Pooh” series of books. At first glance a likable character and friend, but upon examination he is dreadful. For example Eeyore once conversed with Pooh, “Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he said. Eeyore always saw the glass half full, sadly never relishing the hope which comes from optimism. As an optimist, it is hard to acknowledge negative people, but once I found the naysayer and understood their life’s mission is pessimism, cynicism, skepticism, and denial regarding any opportunities it was obvious avoiding these people was critical to my own success. The naysayer would not admire my success and therefore was an enemy to my future. We must challenge ourselves to ask “who do I know that is a naysayer?” Sadly, they may be our spouse, a family member, or close friend. The worst scenario is a trusted confidant as a naysayer. Over time we may not realize this is the case, but unfortunately the naysayer is the most significant obstacle to seizing new opportunities. To recognize those holding you back you must take a close look at your friends and family who constantly find problems with your dreams, goals, and desires. Cheerleaders of your interests will always look for positive outcomes to your opportunities. A supportive friend will debate the merits of your considerations and offer pragmatic opinions. A naysayer, on the other hand, will immediately question the wisdom of your ideas and find nothing but negative consequences. We must beware the naysayer because they will fill us with negative energy and prevent the empowerment we find when taking control of our own lives. Sadly, the naysayer is more devastating when it is someone we love or hold in close esteem because we inherently trust their opinions, sometimes more than our own. My advice is just say no to the naysayer and break away to find freedom in your own successful pursuit of opportunities.

Opportunities

Opportunities (4/28/2012) Opportunities confront all of us each day but too often the door is closed without ever stepping forward to take a chance. Writing this column my inspiration comes from concern for those I watch missing chances to take advantage of new paths in life. After many observations I have concluded there are two distinct reasons people reject opportunity: fear and inaction. President Roosevelt said, the “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” and nothing sums up the reason opportunities are rejected than his infamous saying. When faced with a new challenge many people will create unfounded fears that prevent them from considering a change. For example, an elderly person may reject a free airline ticket to see her grandchildren for fear of dealing with unknown airports, but yet millions of travelers face that fear every travel day. Similarly, overcoming unemployment may be impossible for the fear of moving from established roots, but yet thousands migrate to locales like North Dakota and Nevada to save their families. Second to fear is inaction and is best exemplified by Einstein’s famous quote, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I assert inaction is far easier than action. Thus, when faced with opportunity the effort to take action will succumb to the ease of inaction and the door to opportunity will close. By example a high school student may pass on a college application or a standard test due to the effort required and her laziness is then rewarded by the status quo. Likewise, a job opportunity may be passed because leaving a spouse in a current job is easier than searching for a new job when total income could increase. Often it is easy to observe the opportunities friends and family miss, but impossible to realize when the same occurs personally. Daily I believe each of us are presented opportunities, some consequential and most trivial. The critical trait is to recognize when opportunity knocks and to, at a minimum, give consideration. Understanding fear and inaction as the obstacles to grasping opportunities helps right a course in our lives from status quo to prosperity and adventure. My challenge to you this week is to assess every choice as a new opportunity and to understand how fear and inaction could contribute to saying no. Alternatively this week consider how facing fear and taking action could open doors normally closed. “Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” – Sun Tzu.

Generational Reach

Generational Reach (3/21/2012) Have you ever considered your legacy or the legacy of your family who came before you? The immediate touch to our children and grandchildren is obvious, but have you considered the stories your grandchildren will tell their grandchildren about you? In their book, The Fourth Turning, authors William Strauss ad Neal Howe propose the theory of generational reach. They describe this as memory span; the distance between the lives that touched you connected to the lives you will touch. Since reading about this concept I have considered thoughtfully who I am based on memories of my grandfather and how my grandchildren will remember me. When technology is factored into the concept an awareness of complexity becomes more apparent. To calculate your generational reach, think of the oldest person who influenced your life and their birthday. For me, it is my paternal grandfather, born 1899. Next, we must identify the youngest person you will touch. Most likely this will be a grandchild; if unborn today assume your youngest child will bear your grandchild at age 35 year and your unborn grandson will live to be 85 years old. For me, my son Ty will be 35 in 2047 and his son or daughter, my future grandchild, will live 85 years to 2125. Thus, my reach is (2125-1899) 226 years. I believe generational reach helps understand the differences in views toward politics, values, and everyday culture. Immigrants carry fresh in their mind the struggles to come to America and place value on family, hard work, and maintain their roots. Many families have been in American since the late 19th century or early 20th century, thus generational reach to a different time is a fresh memory, easily reached through one or two generations. In contrast, families with roots dating back to the late 18th century and early 19th century have lost touch with the fight to escape persecution and enjoy the fruits of others thrust upon them by an entitlement society. I believe generational reach slows progressive policies and grounds values in time. Shifts in culture acceptance of previously questionable behaviors are slowed. However, generational reach may also create rebellion as youth work to prove elders wrong and undo values established for conservative reasons. Take, for example, the late 1960’s when the hippie-youth counter-culture rebelled against the establishment of the day. Arguments were made regarding the disconnect between youthful opinion over the Vietnam War versus politicians sending other people’s sons to Southeast Asia. Today, similar disconnects are evolving as the Millennials protest , through the Occupy movements, decisions of an elder-political class intent on enslaving future generations through an unpayable debt. The generational reach today comes from the millennials whose grandparents tell stories of the thievery of banks in then 1930s and see similarities to today’s big banks. These same millennials will tell their grandchildren about the great recession and the lost decades of economic prosperity and how their future was stolen like their great-grandparents. They will touch forever lives extending forward another century in the history of America.

Recipe for Success

A Recipe for Success (2/1/2012) At dinner last week my friend Scott shared comments from a seminar he delivered to MBA students about entrepreneurship. His observation from spending time with these millennials was their questions focused on how to be successful; not in generalities but seeking a specific checklist void of risk. Mutually we agreed there is no checklist to succeed, but commonalities exist which create a method to achieve success. Personally I have formulated a recipe, based on experience and believe three essential elements are required: S-E-P, Evolution, and no Plan B. S-E-P is Skills, Education, and Passion. First, Skills are the know-how we develop over time that contribute to our expertise. For example, we all can pound a nail, but a carpenter knows how to build a house. In his book, Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell describes a 10,000 hour requirement for our skills to develop to an expert level. Second, Education is required to differentiate ourselves, but may come from military, college, or teachings of others. Most important, communication, whether written or verbal, is the critical learning requirement. Third, Passion is the ultimate differentiator between success and failure, but is the hardest to explain. Passion will drive one to succeed no matter what obstacles are confronted and passion is what engages us to continue when our energies are exhausted. The second essential element is Evolution. Our lives are about learning from mistakes and this is the evolution I refer to, understanding how to move forward after a perceived failure and use failure as way to unlock opportunities. I argue each failure makes us stronger because they are events, not who we are. For example, when I owned my company many people assumed my most successful software program was the first I developed. To the contrary, I counted there were nearly 14 different programs I had tried to develop and sell. Most business owners evolve to create opportunities and rarely is success found the first time. Lastly, to succeed there must be no “Plan B” because failure cannot be an option. I assert if an easier option exists affording failure then our effort will stop when the most difficult challenges loom. When failure is not an option, our creativity is ignited to try new methods and search for alternatives supporting our passion, in other words evolution occurs. For example, today’s college graduates can choose to move home because finding a job or supporting themselves is deemed impossible. If moving home was not an option these struggling graduates would share cheaper homes, work three jobs, and live on their own. Success cannot be had when one can turn his back on hard work and fear of bankruptcy. There is no checklist for success, but I can assure you without elements of the above achieving success is impossible. Our current economy is tough and it saddens me when I hear about friends and neighbors losing jobs and homes, but at the same time I can identify friends finding success because they will not be victimized by systemic factors and have demonstrated the above elements. No guarantee for success exists, but I assure you practicing and understanding the above will bring reward.

Live Life Like You’re Dying

Live Life Like You’re Dying (11/9/2011) Too many people put off until tomorrow the things they want to do today. Personally, I am a goal oriented person and manage my life with short-term and long-term objectives. For example, with the change of seasons in north Georgia I am very conscious regarding preparations for winter: cutting and splitting wood, testing space heaters, and making sure outdoor water pipes are winterized. Easy examples, but yet also easy to put off until a storm like the one that hit the northeast is upon you. Recently my wife and I have been watching the television show “24” from its beginning. In the second season the character George Mason is poisoned by radioactive material and knows he will die within the next seven days. Although he does not know specifically whether he will live days or a week, he begins making amends with his estranged son. Of course, this is fiction, but somberly reminds me life can change instantly. This past weekend two men were killed in a plane crash outside Williston, Florida. I knew one of the men, Mike Fuller, and planned to meet with him next week. In an instant, his life ended tragically. Movies like, The Bucket List, Eat Love Pray, or Soul Surfer win our hearts in the theater due the common theme of perseverance against formidable odds. In each case a goal is set, and a plan executed to ultimately triumph over personal tragedy or dreams. I am follower of James Altucher’s blog, “JamesAltucher.com” and last week he wrote a column titled, “The #1 Most Effective Habit” that articulated the same points I want to make. First among them is being proactive. Too often I meet people who tell me they want to travel, write a book, or even learn to fly, but all succumb to excuses and the “naysayers.” Altucher challenges his readers to start by making a list, eliminate the “bad people” and most importantly just get started. Over the last three weeks I have published a book, Clearly Ambiguous, hiked Yonah Mountain, and had a weekend away with my wife. None of the above is significant, but like the life goals in The Bucket List they incrementally take me to a better place in my life. Over the same three weeks I met a young man who hiked the Appalachian Trail last year and I read an article about 17 year-old Taylor De Lay who circumnavigated a homebuilt aircraft around the United States. I am guessing during the same three weeks many people did nothing, going to work, watching television, and griping about their misery. However, anyone can make a change in their own life. So my question is, “what would you do differently today if you knew you were going to die in the next week or month?” My follow up question is obvious, “since you know you will die (someday – we all will die), why aren’t you living your life like your dying?”